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Georgia City Makes Gun Ownership Mandatory
The City Council of Nelson, Georgia voted unanimously Monday night in favor of the “Family Protection Ordinance,” a law requiring every household to posses a gun and ammunition. Well, unless…
Romney Called Tesla a “Loser” In the 2012 Presidential Debates. About That…
Six months after Mitt Romney called electric auto company Tesla Motors a “loser” investment for the Obama administration, Tesla has announced it will post its first ever profit in the Q1 2013…
World’s Most Influential Bartender Goes Public
The most influential bartender in history came forward Wednesday night to reveal himself as Scott Prouty, the source behind Mitt Romney’s infamous “47%” video. His answer to why he felt…
Media Should Stop Trying To Predict Elections, Says Man Who Gets Paid to Predict Elections
Paid election-predictor Karl Rove has had just about enough of people trying to predict elections. During an appearance on Fox News on Tuesday, Rove discussed the ongoing papal conclave with “Happening…
New Ethics Charges: Bachmann Campaign Stole Mass Email List from Christian Homeschoolers, Allegedly Threw an Iowa Grandma Under the Bus
by Jake Goicoechea Okay guys, we are well into 2013 and you are undoubtedly thinking, Hey now, what’s up with my Michele Bachmann cray-dar lately? It hasn’t gone off in months.…
Dick Morris Now Predicting Past Events Incorrectly, Too
Article by: Daily Dolt guest contributor Jeremy Montano. (No relation to Tony Montana. We think.) Having apparently run out of future events to predict incorrectly, the perpetually wrong Dick Morris…
Sasha Obama Congratulates Father On His Improved Oath Of Office Performance: “Good Job, Dad. You Didn’t Mess Up.”
Sasha Obama congratulated her father on Sunday following his flawless performance during the private 2013 presidential oath ceremony: Good job, Dad. You didn’t mess up. Chief Justice John Roberts and…
Bill Clinton Enjoyed Kelly Clarkson’s Performance At the Inauguration
Presented without commentary……
Update: Daily Dolt Totally Fooled By Satirical Piece On Romneys Becoming Human
Apparently, the Romneys have not actually taken on human traits. We have just discovered that the piece we covered from The Awl this morning was satire. Our sincere apologies. We should…
Breaking Scientific News: Romneys Observed Taking On Human Characteristics Following Election Loss
****Update: We r dumb. Read this first please. The Romneys have not actually become human. Repeat: Romneys still not human. *** In breaking scientific news, researchers have announced…
