Twitter Parody: Newark Mayor Cory Booker Is Sick And Tired Of Personally Shoveling Everyone’s Snow

As we’ve previously noted, Newark Mayor Cory Booker (D) is pretty much the most hands-on politician in the entire universe:

Need your driveway cleared of snow? Booker’s out in the cold with a shovel on it.  Trapped inside a burning building? He’ll personally save you. Staying up all night because you waited until the last minute to finish a school report on the Mayor? He’s happy to help you write it. Have  some transgender friends who are nervous about moving to Newark?  Booker will call them personally. He’s so helpful he even annoys the Governor with his helpfulness.

Well, that’s how Booker seems, anyway. But as a new Twitter parody account now reveals, @LazyMayorBooker actually just wants to enjoy a goddamn Hot Pocket in peace without someone asking him to personally go save their dog from the cold:

 

Stop calling me. I’m a high-ranking government official. My job is not to salt your sidewalk.

— Mayor Booker (@LazyMayorBooker) February 8, 2013

 

Cat missing or stuck in a tree? Call someone who is not the mayor of a city. Or get a new one: aspca.org

— Mayor Booker (@LazyMayorBooker) February 8, 2013

 

Stop expecting me to be Batman. I’m just some guy who got more votes than some other guy. What is wrong with you people? — Mayor Booker (@LazyMayorBooker) February 8, 2013

Phone won’t stop ringing. Just discovered Netflix. Decisions. — Mayor Booker (@LazyMayorBooker) February 8, 2013

 

I wish there was some way to get a fresh hot pocket without getting out of bed. — Mayor Booker (@LazyMayorBooker) February 10, 2013

So many people asking for help. What would you do if you didn’t live in Newark? You think Bloomberg would do shit to save you in New York?

— Mayor Booker (@LazyMayorBooker) February 8, 2013

 

…In fact, Booker is now being cc’ed on Bloomberg’s snow plow calls in Brooklyn. Via BuzzFeed editor (and @LazyMayorBooker follower) McCay Coppins:

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Lots of streets in Bushwick are still largely unplowed. cc @mikebloomberg cc @corybooker

— McKay Coppins (@mckaycoppins) February 11, 2013

 

*Hey, remember that thing you’ve been meaning to buy on Amazon? Why not buy it through this super helpful link we are providing right here? It’s super easy. Even @LazyMayorBooker could handle it.

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