Let’s All Pretend This Manti Te’o Story Is Somehow Related To Politics So We Can Write About How Deadspin Just Sent THE GREATEST TWEET IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE To Donald Trump
So, you know how Notre Dame is a Catholic school, and religion is relevant to politics? And… you know how Donald Trump often involves himself in politics, even though he’s never technically run for public office?
Yes? Ok, good. So we’ve established that this Manti Te’o/Donald Trump anecdote we’re about to tell you is super-relevant to politics, and therefore we’re not being completely unprofessional by writing about something off-topic, which is definitely not something we would ever do, because we are a classy and well-respected publication. (Seriously, click on that “classy” hyperlink. Amazing boner joke there. One of our best, if we do say so ourselves.)
Anyway, now that we have that out of the way…
Sports Illustrated apparently published a heart-wrenching story about how this Te’o guy, who is a Notre Dame football star (or a basketball star or an American Idol contestant or something? We don’t really follow sports), learned that he had lost both his grandmother and his cancer-stricken girlfriend on the very same day this September. People who watch sports were deeply affected by this story and it was a big deal or something.
But then the website Deadspin achieved a major journalistic coup on Wednesday with their bombshell investigative report uncovering that the cancer-stricken girlfriend never even existed. Some person either duped Te’o by posting fake pictures to Twitter and then carrying on a fake long-distance relationship with him, or Te’o was in on it the whole time for the publicity and sympathy.
Anyway, the important thing to remember here is that Deadspin achieved a major WIN for uncovering the hoax … which then led politics-related person Donald Trump to tweet a congratulations to the Deadspin writers … which then led the Deadspin writers to post THE GREATEST TWEET THAT HAS EVER EXISTED IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE in reply:
@realdonaldtrump Go fuck yourself.
— Deadspin (@Deadspin) January 17, 2013
The “official” story (aggressive quotation marks there) is that the Deadspin reply had something to do with Trump not crediting the correct author. However, we choose not to believe this. We prefer instead to believe that the reason Deadspin replied to Donald Trump’s sincere congratulations by telling him to go fuck himself was simply because Donald Trump is a tremendous wad-of-dick.
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Appellate attorney, admirer of funny people, Dolt.
Latest posts by Linda (The Daily Dolt) (see all)
Barjack
January 17, 2013 at 4:28 pm
. . . and if you're confused, Boner will show you how.
John
January 17, 2013 at 6:53 pm
Well, 'tis true that you need the boner before you get to the dick wad.
Smannahic
January 27, 2013 at 12:27 am
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