Apparently not satisfied with merely causing 9/11, the Sandy Hook massacre, and most of the world’s earthquakes, our gay overlords have smited us yet again. Maryland Republican Don H. Dwyer, Jr. now explains how the terrifying and magical gays caused him to get drunk and crash his boat into a bunch of children, much as the Sirens of Greek Mythology once lured so many helpless sailors into the rocky cliffs of their island.
As we first reported back in August:
Maryland delegate Don H. Dwyer, Jr. has admitted that he was drinking with another man on his boat on the Magothy River when his boat struck a smaller vessel with five children on board. Dwyer’s blood alcohol level was 0.2 – twice the legal limit.
The incident comes as a surprise given Dwyer’s history as a champion for the safety of children. Dwyer, a Tea Party Republican, has previously suggested that homosexuals were a threat to children and that same-sex marriage would lead to homosexuality being taught in schools. Specifically, Dwyer has expressed fear that gay activists want to introduce sadomasochism to schoolchildren.
Now Dwyer is opening up about what could have possibly caused a man who was otherwise so concerned with the well-being of children to get drunk and slam his boat into a bunch of five year-olds. In an interview with the Maryland Gazette, Dwyer explains that it was the gay marriage debate that led him to drink:
[Dwyer] said two events caused his drinking to increase:
First, he separated from his wife in November 2011.
Second, he felt “betrayed” by longtime allies in the State House … [who] voted for same-sex marriage, an issue he spent years crusading against.
As everyone knows — and Dwyer has previously stated – gay unions are a leading cause of reduced sanctity levels in heterosexual marriages, so when you think about it, the gays were actually responsible for Dwyer’s separation from his wife as well. In other words, the tragic accident was 100% their doing.
But… why, gay overlords? Why do you constantly smite us with divorce and boating accidents and strange weather patterns?? What must we do to appease you?
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