White House Issues Official Petition Response: No, We Will Not Be Building a Death Star.
Image: Wikimedia Commons
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The White House has issued its formal response to a recent petition for the U.S. government to “[s]ecure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016.” Sadly, there is no Death Star in the works, but the White House’s rejection letter is almost as awesome:
The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:
- The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
- The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
- Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?
The White House’s response was penned by Paul Shawcross, the Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget. Shockingly, the Science and Space Chief appears to be well-versed in Star Wars factoids. For instance, Shawcross went on to reassure the petitioners that we do still have some Star Wars-ish technology under development:
Even though the United States doesn’t have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we’ve got two spacecraft leaving the Solar System and we’re building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the Sun.
-and-
We don’t have a Death Star, but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke’s arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers.
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Latest posts by Linda (The Daily Dolt) (see all)
ktward
January 12, 2013 at 7:00 am
Sans any specific regard to this particular post, I get SUCH a kick out of your site. Wonkette used to be this clever and pithy, but then something happened somewhere and they seemed to get less clever and more preachy.
Anyhoo, quick question: can I simply click on your Amazon link for your benefit, or must I actually purchase something for you to reap clicking rewards?
Linda the Dolt
January 12, 2013 at 7:43 am
Oh thank you so much!! Makes my day :)
For the Amazon links, it's only if you buy something (clicks don't count). I just figure most people buy stuff on there from time to time anyway, so hopefully people will try to use the links when they do since it doesn't cost them anything additional. I get about 6-8% of whatever the purchase price is.
Thanks for your support!!
ktward
January 13, 2013 at 3:44 am
Gotcha. Next time I buy at Amazon, I'll use your link. I'll share the 411 with my snark-luvin leftie peeps, too. (Not that I have a lot of those peeps. But I have some. A few. I better not run a count in my head, bad way to start my day.)
Linda the Dolt
January 13, 2013 at 6:37 am
Haha, thank you!!