Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) was reelected Thursday as speaker of the House, reaching the required 214 House votes just after 1:20 p.m. ET. Upon reelection, Boehner remarked:
For the 113th Congress, it is a time to rise.
Oh come on, man. You’re just asking for it at this point.
*And y’all thought we’d have nothing to write about after the election. Pshhh. Anyway, please support the Daily Dolt by buying some stuff via this super-helpful link to Amazon right here so we can continue delivering all the the penis jokes you have come to love and expect from us.