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Grover Norquist May Actually Be Unaware That Barack Obama Won the Election

Not really relevant but needs to be asked: Who names their kid Grover? I mean, really.

So, here’s a very confusing thing that Americans For Tax Reform founder Grover Norquist tweeted this morning, apparently in reference to the fiscal cliff talks:

We had an election Boehner was elected speaker. Now lame duck obama should get over it. (Also 30 GOP governors)

That’s … kind of impressive, actually.  Norquist somehow managed to stuff, like, nine errors into fewer than 140 characters: 

(1.)  Speakers of the House are not directly elected to that position. They are chosen by other members of the House. 

(2.)  In January. Which is after December. Which is the month we are in now.

(3.)  And it’s entirely possible that Boehner will lose his Speaker position when the House does convene next month.

(4.)  But you know who definitely was re-elected by the American citizenry?  Barack Obama.

(5.)  And Barack Obama has over four years left in the Oval Office, so he’s not exactly a lame duck president.

(6.)  And that was clearly a run-on sentence, dude. We know it’s Twitter, but that’s really no excuse since you were only at 92 characters.  Would it have killed you to throw some punctuation in there between “election” and “Boehner”?

(7.)  Look, you either need to capitalize your Tweet appropriately (according to traditional rules of grammar) or don’t capitalize anything at all (as is permitted on the internets), but don’t capitalize “Boehner” and “GOP” and then not capitalize “obama.”  He’s still a proper noun even if you want to pretend he lost the election.

(8.) What the hell do the 30 GOP governors have to do with anything? Are they participating in the fiscal cliff talks? No, they are not. On an equally relevant note, Democrats won 100% of the seats on the Alexandria, Virginia city council, so therefore … what, exactly?

(9.) Also, not to nitpick here, but that parenthetical doesn’t really constitute a sentence, nor does it even pertain to the sentence that preceded it. Yeah, you can get away with a lot of grammatical ingenuity on Twitter, but your Tweet still needs to make sense, okay?

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Photo: Gage Skidmore

 

3 Responses to Grover Norquist May Actually Be Unaware That Barack Obama Won the Election

  1. Barjack

    at

    My, my – did we wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?

    Give poo gwover a bweak. I love his name, it takes me back to Sesame Street and the fat, hairy, adorable* little squeaky-voiced pop-eyed FAKE critturs. There. I've just described gwover – now, don't you feel better?

    *(except for adorable)

  2. Jason

    at

    I'm starting to like this site more and more. The verification for my captcha said "dolphin snake" and that is awesome. (Also 30 GOP governors)

    • Linda (The Daily Dolt)

      Linda the Dolt

      at

      OMG, Dolphin Snake. That needs to be the name for… something. A hair-metal cover band? A covert military operation that takes place near Sea World ("Operation Dolphin Snake")?

      (Also, 30 GOP governors)