In case you were too drunk on eggnog to notice, the NRA recently announced its foolproof plan to prevent the tragic events of Newtown, Connecticut from ever occurring again. As retired congressman Asa Hutchison (R) notes, rather than enacting reasonable gun control or wasting taxpayer money to hire professional guards, the NRA’s “National School Shield” plan instead proposes we use armed volunteers to monitor our schools:
Whether they’re retired police, retired military or rescue personnel, I think there are people in every community in this country, who would be happy to serve, if only someone asked them and gave them the training and certification to do so.
Right? Because who better to arm and put in charge of supervising our nation’s vulnerable school children than a retirement-age combat veteran who enjoys monitoring his fellow citizens at gun-point in his free time instead of just playing bingo like every other old person? These seem like the ideal candidates to keep random acts of gun violence out of our schools, particularly if their PTSD has gone untreated because this will obviously make them even more sensitive to suspicious behavior. No longer will we need to wait until the crazed student fires the first shot. Our good guy with a gun will shoot down the bad guy before the bad guy even has a chance to pull out his fully loaded pack of Skittles.