We Cannot Think Of a Single Thing That Could Go Wrong With Armed Volunteers Monitoring Our Schoolchildren
One example of a person who enjoys spending his free time monitoring his fellow citizens at gun-point. Just throw in some PTSD and a little senility, and Zimmerman would pretty much be the ideal School Shield volunteer.
In case you were too drunk on eggnog to notice, the NRA recently announced its foolproof plan to prevent the tragic events of Newtown, Connecticut from ever occurring again. As retired congressman Asa Hutchison (R) notes, rather than enacting reasonable gun control or wasting taxpayer money to hire professional guards, the NRA’s “National School Shield” plan instead proposes we use armed volunteers to monitor our schools:
Whether they’re retired police, retired military or rescue personnel, I think there are people in every community in this country, who would be happy to serve, if only someone asked them and gave them the training and certification to do so.
Right? Because who better to arm and put in charge of supervising our nation’s vulnerable school children than a retirement-age combat veteran who enjoys monitoring his fellow citizens at gun-point in his free time instead of just playing bingo like every other old person? These seem like the ideal candidates to keep random acts of gun violence out of our schools, particularly if their PTSD has gone untreated because this will obviously make them even more sensitive to suspicious behavior. No longer will we need to wait until the crazed student fires the first shot. Our good guy with a gun will shoot down the bad guy before the bad guy even has a chance to pull out his fully loaded pack of Skittles.
Appellate attorney, admirer of funny people, Dolt.
Latest posts by Linda (The Daily Dolt) (see all)
Dave
December 26, 2012 at 7:13 am
omg, i love this article.
best lines:
Right? Because who better to arm and put in charge of supervising our nation’s vulnerable school children than a retirement-age combat veteran who enjoys monitoring his fellow citizens at gun-point in his free time instead of just playing bingo like every other old person?
…bad guy even has a chance to pull out his fully loaded pack of Skittles.
you're amazing, dolt!
Linda the Dolt
December 26, 2012 at 7:14 am
HGH, thnx!!
Roy Rolison
December 28, 2012 at 11:45 am
Mr. Zimmerman was justified in shooting the person who attacked him. You would do the very same thing.
Tracey
December 26, 2012 at 7:43 am
Well, it's nice to know that somebody considered the cost of putting armed guards in the schools. I was afraid we would have to seriously upgrade our bake sales.
johnd2
December 26, 2012 at 1:29 pm
Like it or not, somebody will be walking around with guns providing security. And it will NEVER be as perfect as you want. We could do much worse than retired policemen and soldiers. Vet them all. But put security on the job where it is needed.
Terry Washington
December 26, 2012 at 10:00 pm
The NRA has declined to answer a salient question: what happens if and when one of these "armed volunteers" runs amuck( perhaps due to PTSD)- in other words, who guards the guards?
Barjack
December 28, 2012 at 10:19 am
Just think. Soon EVERYBODY will be employed! . . . and it'll look just like a Rhumba line.
Larry
December 27, 2012 at 7:39 am
You commy libs are brainless
Roy Rolison
December 28, 2012 at 11:44 am
You Nazi Tea Baggers are just plain idiotic!!!
Mama Lanza had 6 guns, went to shooting ranges often, had professional instruction. And baby Lanza pumped 4 rounds into her brain.
On a military base with thousands around with weapons, professionally trained how to kill, one man killed 13 of the 40 he shot.
Columbine had a retired deputy with a BIG gun. Students blown to pieces. Shot repeatedly.
The stories reach into the thousands over the years. But here is a FACT.
Since the death of Robert Kennedy in 1968, more innocent Americans have been killed by guns in this country than all the soldiers killed in every war the U.S. has fought since 1776.
If that doesn't concern you, nothing will concern you.
Today's individuals are not responsible enough, not civil enough, not patriotic enough to understand good citizenship is not who owns the most killing machines.
How often do we read about a family saved, a burglarly stopped, a rape ended by one individual with a gun? Seldom. Very few times. It does happen once in a blue moon, but does not support the blood-drenched NRA's position.
Scott
December 28, 2012 at 11:30 am
Posting armed guards is a stupid idea. Why not just issue all the kids body armor if that is what this country has come to.