If you’re thinking about entering a Secret Santa pool this year, you better hope you don’t get picked by God, because He is apparently really, really shitty at giving gifts. That’s what we took away from Tuesday night’s debate between Tea Party Republican Richard Mourdock and his rivals for one of Indiana’s U.S. Senate seats, anyway. Asked about whether he believed in an abortion exception in cases of rape or incest, Mourdock explained that sometimes, rather than just giving people an ugly sweater for the holidays like everyone else, God gives them rape babies instead:
I struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realize life is that gift from God. And I think even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.
Sheesh, God. You seriously couldn’t think of anything better than a rape-baby to give us? A simple gift certificate to Applebee’s would have been fine.
*Know where you can find something better to give people for the holidays than a rape-baby? Amazon.com. Hey-o, that’s what we call a smooth transition. We keep it classy here.