Quantcast

Socialize

FacebookTwitter

Surprising New Study Reveals HPV Vaccine Won’t Actually Turn Your Daughter Into a Raging Crack Whore

facebook Surprising New Study Reveals HPV Vaccine Wont Actually Turn Your Daughter Into a Raging Crack Whore twitter Surprising New Study Reveals HPV Vaccine Wont Actually Turn Your Daughter Into a Raging Crack Whore tumblr Surprising New Study Reveals HPV Vaccine Wont Actually Turn Your Daughter Into a Raging Crack Whore
bachelorette copy Surprising New Study Reveals HPV Vaccine Wont Actually Turn Your Daughter Into a Raging Crack Whore

Aaaaaaaand THIS is why you don’t post public, copyright-free photos of your bachelorette party on flickr. (We went ahead and face-blurred it, though, cause we’ve been there, girl.)

From the Department of Research That Apparently Needs to Be Conducted Because We Don’t Intuitively Know This Already comes a new study that reveals that administering the H.P.V. vaccine to young girls will not actually turn them into raging crack whores later in life. Lead author Robert Bednarczyk, a researcher at Kaiser Permanente and Emory University, said the results are ”comforting and reassuring.”

Looking at a sample of nearly 1,400 girls enrolled in a Kaiser Permanente health plan in Atlanta, researchers at Kaiser and Emory University found no evidence that those who were vaccinated beginning around age 11 went on to engage in more sexual activity than girls who were not vaccinated. The results were published in Pediatrics online on Monday.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends that females ages 11 to 26 and males ages 11 to 21 receive the vaccine to protect them from HPV, which is transmitted through sexual contact and can cause genital warts and cervical, penile, vaginal, head and neck cancers. While it is recommended that both males and females receive the vaccine, the new Kaiser study only tracked whether the girls turned out to be crack whores, so there is no data yet on whether the vaccine turns little boys into total freakin’ studs later in life.

Parents have previously raised concerns that the shots would lead to greater promiscuity, but the study bolsters evidence against that concern. At least 90 percent of vaccinated and unvaccinated girls in the study did not seek pregnancy tests, chlamydia tests or birth control counseling, markers that were considered surrogates for sexual activity during up to three years of follow-up. Two in each group became pregnant. Chlamydia, one of the most common sexually transmitted disease, was diagnosed in one vaccinated girl and three unvaccinated girls.

*You know what else totally will not turn you into a raging crack whore? Clicking on this super helpful link to Amazon.com Surprising New Study Reveals HPV Vaccine Wont Actually Turn Your Daughter Into a Raging Crack Whore and buying stuff.  Yayyyyy, no turning into a raging crack whore for you today!!!

Photo: risayv/flickr

/

facebook Surprising New Study Reveals HPV Vaccine Wont Actually Turn Your Daughter Into a Raging Crack Whore twitter Surprising New Study Reveals HPV Vaccine Wont Actually Turn Your Daughter Into a Raging Crack Whore tumblr Surprising New Study Reveals HPV Vaccine Wont Actually Turn Your Daughter Into a Raging Crack Whore

@TheDailyDolt on Twitter

9 Responses to Surprising New Study Reveals HPV Vaccine Won’t Actually Turn Your Daughter Into a Raging Crack Whore

  1. Tracey

    October 15, 2012 at 5:29 am

    You know, the funny thing about this whole controversy is: I never realized that HPV was a sexually transmitted disease until these wingnuts started complaining about the vaccine. It's a virus that causes cervical cancer, that's all I knew. Why would anyone object to that any more than to MMR vaccine?

  2. John Galt

    October 15, 2012 at 7:02 am

    Well actually neither one is especially effective in providing immunity, at best you may get temporary protection, if you dont get injured by all the toxic chemicals, contaminants and other viruses often fount in vaccine sera.

    vaccine recipients will often not only become ill from the shot itself but also become contagious and therefore dangerous to immunocompromised individuals with whom they may come into contact.

    Further, if you are unfortunate and have a seriously adverse reaction, which is becoming more and more common, you can be maimed or suffer permanent immunological damage from either the murcury (still used) and or the aluminum hydroxide which has become more prevalent and which is extremely dangerous especially to small children.

  3. Ray Ingles

    October 15, 2012 at 9:53 am

    Pretty much everything John Galt wrote there is incorrect.

    Click on my name for a link to the actual data about the HPV vaccine. He's wrong about mercury, about adverse reactions increasing, and disastrously wrong about 'vaccine recipients becoming contagious'.

    On the contrary, immunocompromised individuals need people to be vaccinated. Look up 'herd immunity'. One child in my son's preschool class had a liver transplant, and was thus on immunosupressive drugs. Vaccinating my son protected him and that other child.

  4. tokomodem99

    October 16, 2012 at 3:16 am

    Very Funny and make me laugh

  5. marky mark

    October 16, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    I am seriously disappointed by this news. I was planning my next several girlfriends around the availability of thousands of brand new teenage crack whores.

    Now what am I supposed to do, huh? DID ANYONE THINK OF THAT?!

    • Linda (The Daily Dolt)

      Linda the Dolt

      October 17, 2012 at 6:09 am

      Womp, womp. We're sorry :(