When we first heard that Todd Akin was on the House Science committee, we thought maybe it was just an oversight. But now this:
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At a speech delivered recently to the Liberty Baptist Church Sportsman’s Banquet (for those of you calculating at home: Liberty + Baptist + Church + Sportsman = Quadruple Conservative), Rep. Paul Broun (R-GA), a member of the House Committee on Science and Technology and a freaking medical doctor, went on a rant about how science is the work of the devil. Which makes his House committee appointment the work of the devil, too? Is he like a secret agent from God sent to spy on the House Committee on Hedonism and Satan-Worship? We’re not sure.
You see, there are a lot of scientific data that I’ve found out as a scientist that actually show that this is really a young Earth. I don’t believe that the Earth’s but about 9,000 years old. I believe it was created in six days as we know them. That’s what the Bible says.
Literally. This is literally what he believes. 9,000 years ago, which post-dates the advent of farming, knitting, and using tools to hunt.
What I’ve come to learn is that [the Bible is] the manufacturer’s handbook, is what I call it. It teaches us how to run our lives individually, how to run our families, how to run our churches. But it teaches us how to run all of public policy and everything in society. And that’s the reason as your congressman I hold the holy Bible as being the major directions to me of how I vote in Washington, D.C., and I’ll continue to do that.
Just so we’re clear, Rep. Broun’s primary guide to public policy is a literal interpretation of a handbook that says that a man survived three days in the stomach of a whale. Not a metaphorical, figurative, in-the-spirit-of interpretation, but a dead literal one.
Okay, but maybe Akin and Broun are just outliers? Presumably the Chairman of the House Committee on Science and Technology believes in, you know, science and technology, right? Actually, the Chairman, Ralph Hall (R-TX), does not believe in climate change, because he’s more afraid of freezing to death than being too warm? Or something like that?
I’m really more fearful of freezing. And I don’t have any science to prove that. But we have a lot of science that tells us they’re not basing it on real scientific facts.
What. Does. That. Even. Mean?????
*You know what else God’s handbook says to do? It says to click on this link and go buy stuff on Amazon.com right now. If you don’t click on the link then the Devil will come eat your soul or something scary like that. This is scientifically proven. We have the data from the House Science Committee to prove it.