BREAKING: The super-double-top-secret, racially explosive Obama video that Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, and The Drudge Report have been teasing the American public with has finally been released!! Oh wow, this is going to be epic:
Actually… the clip is just a public speech Obama gave at a historically black college in New Orleans in June of 2007 — which was already widely covered by the media at the time, including Fox News. Womp, womp [sad trombone].
But just for fun, let’s have a look at the Top 3 Groundbreaking, Game-Changing Revelations from the video, according to The Daily Caller:
1.) Obama Talks In An “Urban” Accent. The thing conservatives seem most upset about is the fact that our black President talked more black in his speech to a black audience, which clearly shows that he is just duping all of White America into voting for him when really he secretly hates white people. Ann Coulter says, “He turns it on and suddenly we’ve got Malcolm X speaking to us.” Because Barack Obama is the only person in history who has ever subconsciously made a subtle change in his speech patterns depending on his audience. We don’t know about you, but we always use the exact same tone whether we’re talking to our girlfriends about shoes, or to our boss about the mens rea of a criminal defendant, or during pillow talk to our significant other. “Yes, honey bunny, I like totally fer sure think that the jury correctly concluded that the defendant’s mens rea was concurrent with his actus reus.”
2.) Jeremiah Wright. Again. The pundits are still claiming the video is a game-changer because Obama gives a “shout-out” to Jeremiah Wright in the audience. Remember Wright? The eccentric pastor that Obama distanced himself from in 2008 once he learned of Wright’s controversial remarks on race? The guy who was supposed to ruin Obama’s 2008 election chances? We’re pretty sure if the American public didn’t think Obama was a secret black radical back in 2008, they’re not going to buy it now that they’ve seen him in office for the past four years.
3.) The Response To Hurricane Katrina Was Inadequate. The pundits are also outraged — outraged!! — that Barack Obama said the federal response to Hurricane Katrina was inadequate. Wait, is there a disagreement about this? Is there someone out there who actually thinks the federal response to that disaster was okay? We didn’t realize this was controversial.
So, there you have it. Game over. Barack Obama is racist against white people, and everyone will now be voting for Mitt Romney.
*Ah, that was fun. Here, go have some more fun over at Amazon.com with this helpful link we are providing right here. We know you are going to click on it because we are using our blog accent to pander to you blog readers.