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God Considers Smiting GOP Convention With Tropical Storm Isaac

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Photo: Don Amaro

With a mere days before the 2012 Republican National Convention, God appears to be considering the possibility of smiting the GOP with a weather-related disaster. Tropical Storm Isaac will be headed toward the Tampa area on Monday morning, the opening day of the convention.

Tampa Mayor Bob Buckhorn has stated that while the city is prepared for inclement weather, he is “absolutely prepared to call [the convention] off” if need be. “Human safety, human life trumps politics,” he said.

Since it is well-documented that such disasters are often the result of feminism or abortion, or — most commonly — the gays, the world is left to wonder what might be causing God to consider unleashing His fury on the Family Values party. Is it the GOP’s disregard for the Earth’s humblest inhabitants? Maybe a long-overdue smiting for starting an unnecessary war which has killed thousands upon thousands of innocent civilians and troops?  Or has God simply become angered because none of His four hand-picked primary candidates were chosen as the GOP nominee?

Then again, 2012 is the first year members of the Log Cabin Republicans and GOProud will be permitted as delegates at the convention, so, you know, it’s probably just the gays again. It’s always the gays. Women have their magic rape-repelling uteruses, and the gays have their blasphemotronic weather-changing super powers. Everyone knows this.

Oddly, though, Charlotte, where the Democratic convention will be held, does not appear to be at risk for any natural disasters. But, you know, God kind of expects more out of the Republicans, so that’s probably why.

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12 Responses to God Considers Smiting GOP Convention With Tropical Storm Isaac

  1. Andrew Rei

    at

    Exactly what I was thinking! ROFLMAO; and, if TS Ike becomes Hurricane Ike and consumes the convention, we can say it was "God's will"! LMAO ;)

    • Linda (The Daily Dolt)

      Linda the Dolt

      at

      Haha, glad you enjoyed!!

  2. kangham

    at

    Just found your site… Totally awesome reporting! Bummed about the Gays. Really thought Womenkind had a shot at pissing off God this time.

    • Linda (The Daily Dolt)

      Linda the Dolt

      at

      Ah, no. You're thinking of the drought. That was us. Gays cause hurricanes, women cause droughts. Please come back once you have educated yourself a bit more.

      Glad you enjoyed ;)

  3. Martin Verlander

    at

    the RNC is letting women speak which violates HIS LAW…

    God also apparently said "I do not permit a woman to teach or to have

    authority over a man; she must be silent." (1 Timothy 2:12)

  4. Tracey

    at

    This has nothing to do with God. It's clearly part of the Jews' evil plans to take over the world. How could you fail to notice, the storm has a Jewish name?

    • Linda (The Daily Dolt)

      Linda the Dolt

      at

      OMG, duh. Totally missed that. If it's not the gays or the women, it's the Jews. Samantha Ronson really has a lot to answer for here.

    • R u ready 4 some foo

      at

      Funny, the storm doesn't look Jewish.

      • Linda (The Daily Dolt)

        Linda the Dolt

        at

        I just snorted Vitamin Water out of my nose, Foosball guy. A little warning next time you're going to write something that funny.

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