The 10 Best Reactions To the Todd Akin Debacle
Sometimes, when life gives you a rape gaffe, you just have to make rape gaffe-ade. And so, today The Daily Dolt will be channeling Buzzfeed (sorry, no disappointed cat pictures or frustrated iguanas lists, though). We present to you, our ten favorite reactions to the Todd Akin debacle:
10.)
2nd place on Idol. 2nd place on Apprentice. And now thanks to
@reptoddakin I’m only the 2nd stupidest Aiken!— Clay Aiken (@clayaiken) August 20, 2012
9.) Pregnant Woman Relieved To Learn Her Rape Was Illegitimate - The Onion
Though she was initially upset following the brutal sexual assault last month that left her pregnant, victim Martha Byars told reporters she was relieved Sunday to learn from Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) that her ability to conceive her unwanted child proves she was not, in fact, legitimately raped.
“It was absolutely horrific—I felt violated in the worst way imaginable—but thanks to Congressman Akin, I now realize it must, at some level, have been consensual after all.”
8.)
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) August 19, 2012
7.)
Ladyparts diagram for Cons to pin up on the wall next to 10 commandments
#prochoice#legitimaterape for@godelnoodle twitter.com/godammitkitty/… — godammitkitty (@godammitkitty) August 21, 2012
6.) Republican Congressman Proposes National Security Role For Uterus – Andy Borowitz for the New Yorker
“From what I understand, there’s nothing that the uterus doesn’t know,” Rep. Akin told a reporter on KTVI-TV. “It’s almost like Spider-Man’s ‘spidey sense,’ if you will, except the tingling goes on down in the lady parts.”
“If we posted a uterus at every airport and a bunch of them along the border, I would just love to see an evildoer get past defenses like that,” he said. “Not gonna happen, folks. Nothing fools a uterus.”
5.) Akin’s opponent, Sen. Claire McCaskill (D), who ran ads in the primary boosting Akin’s conservative cred, is one of the only people in the universe not asking Akin to step down from the Senate race. Aww, it’s nice to see opponents getting along like this!! McCaskill says “it’s not my place” to decide whether Akin should exit the race to allow a less crazy person run against her:
4.) Activate magic uterus powers!!! From dayraven915/quickmeme: 
3.)
Women’s bodies shut down when they’re being raped the same way men’s brains shut down when they’re running for senator of Missouri. — River Clegg (@RiverClegg) August 19, 2012
2.) Sometimes Tweets make you laugh and cry at the same time. This is not satire:
@teapartytony We carry guns, dress appropriately and refuse to be victims.That’s why.#IStandWithAkin— Alisa Lea Gossage (@AlisaLea) August 20, 2012
1.) Missouri, take note:
Appellate attorney, admirer of funny people, Dolt.
Latest posts by Linda (The Daily Dolt) (see all)
Janet
August 21, 2012 at 4:32 am
The Teatards in #2 make me wonder how people this stupid are able to operate a Twitter account.
Sam-R-I
August 21, 2012 at 4:34 am
Or, like, operate a computer at all or breathe air or walk.
Canuck
August 21, 2012 at 4:43 am
The Onion kills it as usual.
jay
August 21, 2012 at 7:38 am
There's just no moral response to #2's idiocy; nothing can be said that can supercede the stupidity of the remark.
My cousin, a strong, loving, conservative Mormon was raped in her own home. Her rapist lived in the neighborhood and as we found out later had done this before. She was working on her books for their farm and came in through a slider door; he threatened to have his accomplice (non existent as it turned out) harm her children, whom he named by name, if she screamed. Her husband was sleeping in the master bedroom across the home from her so he didn't hear (he lives with that to this day). He assaulted her, said horrible things, threatened she and her children's lives, then left.
She was then assaulted a second time during the trial; she was asked about her activities, her dress, her reason for not locking the door, which was in her own back yard, her being up so late at night alone. It was intimated she was at fault for not locking the door, for not being in bed at a decent hour (11 pm, apparently), for essentially just living her life albeit apparently not locked down enough. It was appalling and a manifestation of the blame the victim I'm reading in comments following #2's asinine input. So, yeah…conservative women who dress discreetly, raise families of respectful children, contribute to society ARE victims of assault, just like those "liberal sluts" you besmirched. Shame, shame on you, #2. For shame.
This is like bizarro world, that any woman's assault should be justified by dress, politics, etc. I don't care if she is watering her lawn stark naked it isn't a open opportunity to invade her person in ANY way much less one of the most degrading of all. It will ALWAYS be on the assailant to bear the fault and endure the punishment, which is decidely less invasive than what that woman was subjected to.
Linda the Dolt
August 21, 2012 at 7:45 am
Well said, Jay. That is an absolutely horrific account. My very best wishes go out to your cousin. I hope she is recovering as best she can.
There's a reason I put #2 in the second spot:
#2 = a load of shit
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September 18, 2012 at 3:38 pm
REALconservative women wear burkas.
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