NBC’s New War-o-tainment Reality Show, “Stars Earn Stripes,” Lets Celebrities “Shoot At Something And Have It Go BOOM!”
In case you missed it, NBC’s newest reality show Stars Earn Stripes debuted last night, and it honors our military personnel by teaching the American public that war is basically “kind of like a real-life action movie or video game,” as one contestant puts it. The show features eight D-list celebrities paired up with “military and law enforcement veterans, including a Green Beret, a SWAT officer, two Marine sergeants, a retired member of the Delta Force and two Navy SEALs,” or, as NBC tastefully calls them, “Bad Ass Operatives.”
Aww, war is dreamy.
It’s basically Dancing with the Stars, except here, as contestant Picabo Street describes it, the stars get to “shoot at something and have it go BOOM!” Naturally, the co-hosts of the show are Gen. Wesley Clark and former Dancing with the Stars host Samantha Harris.
But lest you think this show might be disrespectful to the people who are, you know, actually risking their lives for our country or the civilians who have actually died in the cross-fire, don’t worry. The stars trip over themselves to show their respect for the troops, and all winnings go to a military-themed charity, so you don’t need to feel guilty for cheering when Nick Lachey jumps from a helicopter. Sorry, wait, allow us to back up for a moment. All of the contestants’ winnings go to charity. All of NBC’s winnings still go in the network’s pockets. But hey, who cares when we’re blowing stuff up!! Yay war!! (Shockingly, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and eight other Nobel Peace Prize laureates seem to think this war-o-tainment is not particularly conducive to the peace process and have called upon NBC to pull the show. You can sign the petition here.)
So, how realistic is the show? So real that contestant Dean Cain appears to lose a grip on the fact that reality television is not actually real. Two of our favorite Cain quotes:
“This is not a joke. I know there’s a chance I could die.” No, Dean. No, there’s not. We promise you, NBC is not going to let you die. The only person in the history of reality television who has actually died while taping is the Crocodile Hunter, as far as we’re aware. You’re not chasing sting rays, so you should be cool. (Later in the first episode another contestant has a hard time swimming with his heavy equipment. An NBC jet ski comes and picks him up.)
“We go on real missions. We receive real training. We go with real live fire.” Oh man, can you imagine how psyched Dean will be when he learns they get to have real legs blown off with real IEDs, too?? Wait, what? Is that not happening on this show?
In his piece in Salon yesterday, Glenn Greenwald ”wonder[ed] how actual troops who face real danger to their lives feel about having NBC exploit The Troops and convert their combat burdens into a fun reality show with feigned ‘danger.’” We wondered the same thing, so we conducted our own highly unscientific, unverified poll of military personnel. Most of the troops we asked found the show offensive, some of them found it harmless fun, and, unsurprisingly, 100% of them found it unrealistic (sorry, Dean).
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But the show is not just unrealistic in the minutiae. (Virtually every show on television gets the small details wrong. We can’t even watch an episode of Law & Order without throwing our Cheetos at the T.V. screen.) The real problem here is that this show gets the big details wrong. In fact, it gets the biggest detail of all wrong, which is: In reality, war is bloody and horrible and should be avoided whenever possible. On Stars Earn Stripes, war is just a fun competition. As one of the troops we surveyed reminded the celebrities: ”If they want to play there’s still a war going on. WTF happened to this country?”
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Another one of the troops we asked got to the heart of the problem with Stars Earn Stripes better than we ever could:
Remember when a war was something all people dreaded? When it was the absolute worst thing a generation could experience as a whole? When the terror of the battlefield resonated in the minds and hearts of every civilian back home, fearing for their loved ones, hoping they would return from that nightmarish hellscape in one piece?
Why the fuck is war turning into celebrity fodder? Seriously; what the fuck have we come to if a warzone and the men and women fighting and dying in it are being slapped into the same level as a football field and its athletes?
Americans no longer have any fucking clue what a war is. It’s just another ‘thing.’ Just another part of life. Birds fly, celebrities drunk drive, baseball games get played, soldiers die in a god-forsaken desert, McDonalds sells Big Macs, etc etc etc.
Photo: MobyDee / Mary Esther, USA
Appellate attorney, admirer of funny people, Dolt.
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Alpha
August 14, 2012 at 6:19 am
“This is not a joke. I know there’s a chance I could die.”
Bahahahahahahaaa!!!! Oh wait, he was serious.
Derp
August 14, 2012 at 6:21 am
We can only hope there's a chance, Dean.
Tutu Head
August 14, 2012 at 6:24 am
The letter you mentioned in full…
War Isn't Entertainment and Shouldn't Be Treated Like It Is
An Open Letter to Mr. Robert Greenblatt, Chairman of NBC Entertainment, General Wesley Clark (ret.), Producer Mark Burnett and others involved in “Stars Earn Stripes”:
During the Olympics, touted as a time for comity and peace among nations, millions first learned that NBC would be premiering a new “reality” TV show. The commercials announcing “Stars Earn Stripes” were shown seemingly endlessly throughout the athletic competition, noting that its premier would be Monday, August 13, following the end of the Olympic games.
That might seem innocuous since spectacular, high budget sporting events of all types are regular venues for airing new products, televisions shows and movies. But “Stars Earn Stripes” is not just another reality show. Hosted by retired four-star general Wesley Clark, the program pairs minor celebrities with US military personnel and puts them through simulated military training, including some live fire drills and helicopter drops. The official NBC website for the show touts “the fast-paced competition” as “pay[ing] homage to the men and women who serve in the U.S. Armed Forces and our first-responder services.”
It is our belief that this program pays homage to no one anywhere and continues and expands on an inglorious tradition of glorifying war and armed violence. Military training is not to be compared, subtly or otherwise, with athletic competition by showing commercials throughout the Olympics. Preparing for war is neither amusing nor entertaining.
Real war is down in the dirt deadly. People—military and civilians—die in ways that are anything but entertaining. Communities and societies are ripped apart in armed conflict and the aftermath can be as deadly as the war itself as simmering animosities are unleashed in horrific spirals of violence. War, whether relatively short-lived or going on for decades as in too many parts of the world, leaves deep scars that can take generations to overcome – if ever.
Trying to somehow sanitize war by likening it to an athletic competition further calls into question the morality and ethics of linking the military anywhere with the entertainment industry in barely veiled efforts to make war and its multitudinous costs more palatable to the public.
The long history of collaboration between militaries and civilian media and entertainment—and not just in the United States—appears to be getting murkier and in many ways more threatening to efforts to resolve our common problems through nonviolent means. Active-duty soldiers already perform in Hollywood movies, “embedded” media ride with soldier in combat situations, and now NBC is working with the military to attempt to turn deadly military training into a sanitized “reality” TV show that reveals absolutely nothing of the reality of being a soldier in war or the consequences of war. What is next?
As people who have seen too many faces of armed conflict and violence and who have worked for decades to try to stop the seemingly unending march toward the increased militarization of societies and the desensitization of people to the realities and consequences of war, we add our voices and our support to those protesting “Stars Earn Stripes.” We too call upon NBC stop airing this program that pays homage to no one, and is a massive disservice to those who live and die in armed conflict and suffer its consequences long after the guns of war fall silent.
Sincerely,
Jody Williams, Nobel Peace Prize, 1997
Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Prize, 1984
Mairead Maguire, Nobel Peace Prize, 1977
Dr. Shirin Ebadi, Nobel Peace Prize, 2003
President José Ramos-Horta, Nobel Peace Prize, 1996
Adolfo Pérez Esquivel, Nobel Peace Prize, 1980
President Oscar Arias Sanchez, Nobel Peace Prize, 1987
Rigoberta Menchú Tum, 1992
Tracey
August 14, 2012 at 12:01 pm
Dean Cain can’t die. He’s Superman. Duh.
Actually, I assumed this show was sponsored by the military establishment as a recruitment tool. Many colleges and even high schools won’t let them onto campus any more; they have to get into the hearts and minds of young people somehow. Reminds me of the Simpsons Join the Navy episode.
Linda the Dolt
August 14, 2012 at 7:23 am
One of my favorite quotes from Cain:
"Playing Superman, everyone expects you to do well in competition."
Yeah, the whole thing is military propoganda. Actually, it's worse than that. It's feeding on viewers' desire for violence and passing it off as patriotism so NBC can make money.
R u ready 4 some foo
August 23, 2012 at 11:17 am
Next fall on NBC, The Whip 'em out and compare sizes show.
"Seriously guys, I could die here.", Dean Cain exclaimed.
Michael Stanclift
September 1, 2012 at 12:23 pm
I used to have a lot of respect for General Clark, I even campaigned for him in 2004. Won't make that mistake again.
Linda the Dolt
September 1, 2012 at 1:20 pm
I know, I used to really respect him as well.
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December 10, 2012 at 10:33 am
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