Opening statements in the trial of former Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards are set to begin today in federal court. Prosecutors allege that Edwards accepted campaign donations which were used to cover up his affair with videographer/ legendary nutjob Rielle Hunter.
At the center of the case is one of Edwards’ major campaign donors, the awesomely-named 101 year-old Listerine heiress Bunny Mellon. Bunny had already met the maximum individual contribution limit when Edwards allegedly accepted additional funds from her in 2007 in violation of federal campaign laws. This puts Edwards’ defense attorneys in the interesting position of trying to convince a jury that the additional funds were just being used for, you know, hush money and Pampers for his illegitimate child, not for campaign purposes. See? It was just a personal gift. Totally not related to the campaign. Bunny wasn’t trying to hide the Edwards affair from voters; she just wanted to make sure that Edwards’ cancer-ridden wife never found out about this whole love-child business.
The defense team is also expected to argue that Edwards did not know that the money was being funneled in the first place. Not so, says Andrew Young. Remember him? Young is the former Edwards ’08 campaign staff member who initially took the fall for Edwards when the story of the love child first broke. Young, who happened to live in the same neighborhood as Hunter at the time, claimed that he — not Edwards — was the baby’s daddy. He later admitted that claim was false and contended that it was prompted by Edwards’ desperate pleas for him to cover up the scandal. Young is now a government witness and is expected to testify (with immunity) that Edwards and he discussed identifying individuals who could provide money to support Hunter in May of 2007, and that Young and his wife accepted the Mellon contributions on behalf of Edwards.
Photo attribution: wiki/Mike Murphy
Best political humor, best political satire, top political blogs, best liberal political humor, news satire, funny political blogs, Borowitz, Daily Show, The Onion, Colbert, Bill Maher