UK Study: Turns Out Straights Are the Ones Cheapening Holy Matrimony After All
A new study from the United Kingdom has shown that the gay divorce rate is less than half that of straight unions, scientifically proving that Kim Kardashian and other straights are the ones cheapening the sanctity of holy matrimony after all. In response, Republican candidate Rick Santorum has called for an outlaw of all heterosexual unions.
Hahahaha, totally kidding about the Santorum-being-intellectually-honest part. But the rest of it is true! So if you’re standing next to a social conservative right now, you may want to put your haz-mat suit on because their head is about to explode all over you.
In the United Kingdom (where same-sex civil unions are permitted), the Office of National Statistics recently released a report finding that gay couples joined in 2005 were less than half as likely as straight couples to divorce four years later (2.5% for gay couples versus 5.5% for straight). Must be all those turbo-commitment lesbians skewing the statistics, amiright??? Actually, no. It’s the gay men who have the lowest divorce rates. By a lot, actually. By the end of 2010, 1.6 % of male civil partnerships had dissolved compared to 3.3 % of female partnerships.
My own armchair theory on why the overall gay divorce rates are lower is simply that we’re comparing two different groups of couples: The straight group was presumably composed largely of couples who had been dating for a few months to a few years before getting married in 2005. Likewise, some of couples in the gay group had only been together for less than a few years before joining in 2005; however, the gay group also must have had a huge component of couples who had already been together for decades but had never been joined officially before 2005 because they were not permitted to until then. So that makes sense. My guess is that the gap between gay and straight divorce rates will narrow in the years to come.
But the gap between male unions and female unions? That I can’t explain. Andrew Sullivan over at the Dish discusses a few theories.
Photo attribution: GuillamePaumier/flickr
Appellate attorney, admirer of funny people, Dolt.
Latest posts by Linda (The Daily Dolt) (see all)
Pat
April 10, 2012 at 4:30 am
Women are crazy, men are just stupid. Therefore, two women get divorced more than two men. #Obviously
Billyburgh
April 10, 2012 at 4:32 am
Sounds about right.
lolwut
April 10, 2012 at 7:39 am
Woman are definitely crazy. I wouldn't call men stupid considering they invented basically every single man made thing.
KP
April 12, 2012 at 11:42 pm
Oh no, they're stupid, but so are women. It's part of the human experience.
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not certain about the universe." ~ Albert Einstein
Linda the Dolt
April 13, 2012 at 4:09 am
We're both stupid, both crazy — just in different ways. We deserve each other.
your right winger
April 10, 2012 at 5:16 am
What you do not say is that Gay couple often commit infidelity and see that as being ok where as straight couples commit adultery and than they leave each other. But I guess that part of the study did not back up what you had to say now did it.
roothog
April 10, 2012 at 5:32 am
Sounds like you have insider knowledge about gay couples…
Skipdallas
April 10, 2012 at 11:29 am
Lmao! You nailed him, (so-to-speak)
B. self
April 10, 2012 at 7:34 am
Actually, it sounds like you're a bigot. Maybe, you're just someone in a bad relationship. There are heterosexual couples who are considered "swingers". Just there are gay and lesbian who do just the same. Personally, me and my wife don't feel the need for someone else to satisfy sexual urges. We are very committed to one an other. However, if placed in a position to 'swing' and if it is comfortable for us both, we have done it. This is more a matter of marrying for love or lust. Also, a huge issue of trust between you and your partner. I trust my wife. I don't have any reason not to, I feel like we can seriously talk about anything and everything.
Skipdallas
April 10, 2012 at 11:32 am
I would ask where you get your inside information on the infidelity statistics of Gay people. My guess is that you pulled them right out of your A**! Next to where your brain usually resides.
Anonymous Coward
April 10, 2012 at 12:56 pm
So this explains Newt Gingrich and his repeated infidelity, then?
Bob Jones
April 11, 2012 at 4:52 am
No, nothing explains Newt. Not even evolution.
He's a freak of nature.
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April 10, 2012 at 5:17 am
Too much estrogen in one confined space can be dangerous………
Grr..Argh..
April 10, 2012 at 5:28 am
"your right winger" ….so are we to assume that you of course have studies to back up your mindless and ignorant comment? People commit adultery no matter what….and gay/lesbian couples do not "see it as okay" as opposed to the magical and all powerful thinking of a Hetero couple…there are lots of couples gay or straight that opt for an "open" relationship from the start….and many more that opt for monogamy and prefer it. Your self deduced comment is irrelevant.
Aelfscine
April 10, 2012 at 8:40 am
I think it's that a lot of straight people are pressured societally to get married, and so they do so without thinking. If adults see each other for more than a year, people start hinting about engagement – a lot of folks just get married because they think they're supposed to, or don't know there's any alternative. And for some, there's the thought that if you conceive a child together, you must get married (I live in Oklahoma, Land of Single Moms, so that's certainly not much of a consideration, but it has been in the past).
Suffice to say though, gay marriages don't have to consider either of these things – no accidental pregnancies possible, and certainly no societal expectation for marriage. If two people of the same sex get married, it's because they honest-to-God wanted to, and they likely had to fight hard for it. And if they do adopt children, this is again a planned occasion that they had to want very much – no 'accidents' possible.
Skipdallas
April 10, 2012 at 11:35 am
Well stated! Thank You.
Linda the Dolt
April 11, 2012 at 4:45 am
Speaking of which, here's a funny article from New York magazine lamenting how gays are now starting to face the "So when are you two getting married???" pressure, too:
http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2011/06/for_gay_coup…
Not sure if it will ever equal the pressure on straights, though. Maybe. Thoughts?
Sparkle
April 10, 2012 at 10:26 am
Nevermind the fact that many young Christian/Catholic couples get married largely due to wanting to be able to have sex with their partner and not be condemned to eternal hellfire. Then once they actually grow up, they realize that this person isn't actually a proper partner for life, that what they were feeling was probably just an advanced stage of infatuation, and bam, marriage over.
Any marriage is a joke if done for the wrong reason, but doing it because you love someone who happens to be the same sex as you and want to spend the rest of your life with them… Well that sure as hell ain't one.
usa
April 10, 2012 at 12:20 pm
gay marriage. typical. call it what ever you want other then a religous term and your ok. but wanting to stir the pot, of course you will try to find something wrong. Grow up. fight for the rights you have. becasue soon obamafail will come to take them all away.
Bob Jones
April 11, 2012 at 4:58 am
Ah, another conservative tea-bagger.
Your kind is a plague. We should stuff ALL of you into a rocket and shoot you into the sun. Of course, that would cause it to go supernova from all the hipocrisy and self-loathing your "kind" has.
And about Obama, you're just spewing vitriol and hate. Another hallmark sign of a teabagging GOPer.
Take a look at the good he's done, not just the bad.
Oh, but that would require you to do some actual CRITICAL THINKING…. something your "kind" doesn't seem capable of.
You are scum.
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