This week, the Daily Dolt tests your ability to decipher real life from an Andy Borowitz tweet:
1.) Citing Safety Concerns, Somali Pirates Boycott Royal Caribbean Cruises.
2.) Italian Pharmacists Vow to Hold Viagra Hostage From Consumers If Labor Demands Not Met
3.) National Alliance of Funeral Directors Issues Statement Against Obamacare
1.) Andy Borowitz.
2.) Real. ”Pharmacists will stage a series of labor actions during April, culminating with the so-called ‘Viagra strike’ if their complaints are not redressed. One group protested Thursday outside Parliament under the banner ‘No Viagra, No Party.’”
3.) Andy Borowitz. An Argument Against Healthcare, From the National Alliance of Funeral Directors: ”It was Revolutionary War hero Patrick Henry who said, in 1775, ‘Give me liberty or give me death.’ From that moment on, legal scholars have agreed that the Constitution guarantees every American the liberty to be dead.”