This week, the Daily Dolt tests your ability to decipher real life from an Onion headline:
1.) Republican Candidates Take Hardline Stance Against Education, JFK, and Adorable Puppies.
2.) Obama Criticized For Living In Lavish Mansion While Most Americans Struggle To Make Ends Meet
3.) Stephen Hawking Caught Up in Sex Scandal
3.) Maybe “scandal” is overstating it, but yes, he’s apparently very fond of strippers and sex clubs.